sry.

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Wednesday, December 28, 2005

i hate.
i hate.
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahhahahaaa...

102 no more.
i'm in 205. i had this feeling i'd be there. sigh. register no. 25 and all. ynoe. 2. and fiive.
i think i'm going nuts right now.
i dun want ppl to know me unless they wanna noe me well enough. :\ which i'm not sure i'm ready forr.
i hope my class aint filled with ppl who care soo much about appearance. or if they do i hope they wouldnt. not next year.
oh dear. this is such a bad start for a new year.
smtimes things that ppl can say makes me dun wanna know ppl. did i just say that before? ohwell.. 205..
Nurdiyanah, 205. kinda has a ring to it.

but i dont want them to know me. i should be a LONER.
i dun want them to know me and pick out the worst of me or smthing like that. i want ppl who know me as me. i mean. i've got so many "errors" that people seem to see and judge me on. exterior based stuff, ynoe? i think i'm not an open person that much anyway.
well, whatever.
i'm skinny and a little on the hairy side.
i'm loud but so soft-spoken when i meet someone new.
i'm too tall. i'm too damn bloody sticky, you say. i'm too weak he said. i agreed.
i AM weak and i'm born that way. while others are atheletic. is this unfairness? yes. no.
Allah made me this way. but still.
i'm so lame. i'm such a loser.
oh yeah. on top of that, i'm struggling in school too. not that smart either, are you, diy?
people say everything. the sad thing is, i almost always believe them. that's bad, right?
i can hardly make decisions. i dunno who to talk to at the right time, when i really need help. who are you talking to now? i see what you mean. oh and i'm so darn lazy. what am i gonna do about it? i dunno. i'll work harder i guess. really? i think so. i'll try. whatever it is, whatever they say..
(: i'll work it through 2006.

That's all there is. (:
5:05 AM

packed and left.

May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006